Speak To Me

I don't date a lot. I get asked out a lot. I say NO a lot. What I can say is that I have learned A LOT. My first committed relationship lasted several years and in that time I made many, many mistakes. I am a way better person for what I have learned and have so much more to give to someone than I did then. I look back on it seven years later and now realize there was so much I could have done differently. People have asked me if I believe now that I could have saved it or would we still be together today if I could have saved it. The answer is no. I think we get into relationships for all sorts of reasons, may it be need based or want based, and sometimes it just isn't meant to have any true staying power. In any case, every relationship has the POTENTIAL to last. I think had someone introduced this book to me while I was in college I would have done a better job. In essence, what it says is that each of us accepts love in a different way. There are five: physical affection, time, gifts, words, and deeds. For me it will always be time. I have very little of it. If someone can give me their time the rest is icing on the cake. Gifts make me uncomfortable because I can't always reciprocate, words can make me uncomfortable because it is simply overwhelming to me, for example. Once you can harness what it is that makes the other person tick you have an increasingly better chance to give them what they need and the relationship will flourish. As Valentine's Day is fast approaching take a minute to remember that being in a relationship is not about you. To rephrase a quote by President Kennedy

"Do not ask what your Country can do for you, but what you can do for your Country"

It's what you can do for the OTHER PERSON that matters, not the other way around.