Friday Feels

{Early morning light}

There has been such an overwhelming reaction to the loss of Robin Williams. Not simply with regard to his suicide, but also his diagnosis. I felt that having been directly impacted by the suicide of someone closest to me, I wanted to shed some of my own light on a dark and painful subject. 

Some of you are aware that my mom took her own life when I was very young (8 years old) and my brother with her. In her troubled mind, having my brother and I with her was to protect us from having to live without her, and the memory of her death. My survival was something she had not planned on and did not want to happen. I remember that day very vividly as the car sank deep in that dark water leaving me behind. I have had many years to cope with all that happened that day. My father said to me many times that her taking her own life was a selfish act, because the person leaves behind so much pain and grief. I don't feel that way. It is my feeling that her taking her life was an unfortunate life choice she made for us both. I would have loved to keep her, but that was not what she wanted. It was HER LIFE. Far be it for me to tell someone how to live or how to die. Those who are struggling with these decisions need all our love and support, and not our judgement. In the end it is not up to us. If we believe that there is something better out there beyond this life on Earth, then when someone chooses to "leave the bonds of Earth, to touch the face of God" then should we not be happy for them to be free of all that tortures their soul, and be held forever in His Grace? When someone dies... we grieve OUR OWN loss. We are sad over what we no longer have. Is that not a selfish act as well? 

My belief for myself is that we are only given this one opportunity to leave our mark on this world, and in that we have a responsibility to leave it a better place. How that all falls out is up to each one of us. My hope is that everyone values and cherishes it all for as long as it is the time they are given, knowing that there is a finite end point for us all, and that every day we awake is a gift. 

Have a good weekend <3